When I want to have sex at home and my kids are at home I feel like my life is going to hell and everything is horrible and I'm so angry that I had kids, etc, etc because I can't have sex when I want it. My goal is to get myself to where I feel so much pain that I can't feel at all.
Are female sex addictics made you
I want to use and use and use so that I'll never feel bad about someone I really love leaving me or wanting someone else. Even my husband who is so loving and committed to me and respectful. I mean, I've never seen a man who is so devoted to his wife sexually and in every other way.
So it's not that I am scared he'll leave because of his actions. It's that I hate myself and cannot feel or accept his love. At that point where I feel so much pain I'm to the point of no return I'll know that I am in control and that they can never hurt me. I don't have to be afraid to lose them because I have severed the emotional intimacy and connection already.
I feel so much POWER. I have told my husband all of this ALL OF IT and he is willing to stay with me and go to counseling - individual and marital.
I am horrified to give up my addiction because if I am a lost cause I won't have the drug. Then what will I do? If I stay in the marriage and work on it and don't cheat I will just have to feel the pain and I am not capable at this point of tolerating it. My husband is ridiculously perfect and totally devoted to me.
I do not understand this. All I know is that I want to use the drug so bad and I am mortified of what I will be without it. Empty, empty, empty and alone. I don't think I'll be able to go on. Last edited by Krista on Tue Dec 29, pm, edited 1 time in total. Re: I am a married, female sex addict and am terrified by bringmetolife Tue Dec 29, pm Yes, you can go on. There is a better future for you, but you have to really want it and fight like hell for it. You're story sounded a lot like mine, although I have not had sex with anyone but my wife since we started dating.
I have been tempted and obsessed, and that's why I'm seeking help. Don't give up so easily. You seem like you have so much to live for. I have been in the same boat as you and had great results from EMDR trauma therapy. I am a fellow survivor of sexual abuse, and those experiences at a very young age twisted me just like you. You're not disgusting or a monster. You have been damaged and you need help.
Without any opportunity to heal from the wounds of childhood, we survivors find ourselves stuck in the same behavior patterns usually not healthy ones. Because you were traumatized as a child, I highly recommend you try EMDR.
It's not easy. Very, very intense and it leaves you shaken to the core, but it can help you up to 4 times faster than conventional therapy. You also would benefit greatly from joining a 12 step program like SLAA or similar groups. If no groups are in your area, online meetings can help. I wish I could say more, but it's really up to you. I wish you the best in your recovery. Coming here was a big step, so give yourself a pat on the back.
Because we have so many similarities, feel free to talk with me anytime. You're not alone. Re: I am a married, female sex addict and am terrified by Krista Tue Dec 29, pm Bringmetolife: Thank you so much for your reply and for not judging me. That means a lot even from a stranger. I have heard of EMDR and I would like to talk to you about your experience with it if you don't mind; so I might be messaging you soon.
Knowing that I must face certain feelings in therapy is mainly what has kept me from doing it. It scares the hell outa me. I get scared even thinking about living day to day life without my fantasy world and without my outlet.
I suppose that what I'm forgetting is that with the tools and hopefully the healing that I will gain from therapy I won't be left completely without resources to face life without the addiction like I am now.
Thinking about being where I am now with no "drug" is very intimidating and makes me sad and overwhelmed. I keep telling myself to "take it one day at a time" instead of thinking so far into the future and feeling dread.
Thanks for your support. Re: I am a married, female sex addict and am terrified by bringmetolife Wed Dec 30, am You're very welcome. I'll gladly chat with you about EMDR whenever you're up to it.
Hang in there. Re: I am a married, female sex addict and am terrified by jaybaines30 Wed Dec 30, am hello krista I would be lying if I said to you that you can stop your sex addiction by just really putting up a fight like hell. But as you know from your own experiences no matter how good your intentions are you reach a point where you do not care what you have to do in order to get what you want.
The good news is you can overcome this problem no matter how bad your childhood may have been but it is going to take some time and some competent guidance from someone who has personally dealt with this problem himself.
I overcame four addictions myself including sex addiction. com I hope this helps. Re: I am a married, female sex addict and am terrified by bringmetolife Wed Dec 30, pm Hi jaybaines I agree that a certain amount of guidance is necessary, but the bulk of the work is up to the individual.
I was only able to do 1 or 2 sessions of EMDR a month because of my schedule, so a lot of the processing was up to me. I pushed myself to do things like going to see places where rapes or molestations had happened in order to confront my feelings head on. This kind of thing can't be avoided, and having someone hold your hand isn't always an option.
It takes a great deal of self motivation and self discipline, as well as brutal self honesty. Re: I am a married, female sex addict and am terrified by Randy13 Thu Dec 31, am Krista, I feel for you. You are not alone, and you are not an evil person.
What do Wives of Sex Addicts Face?
But sadly my advice stops there as I am in a similar position and cannot control myself. I am a new member to this site also and I am reaching out for help. Reading your post has made me feel so related and given me more motivation to break this addiction.
I'm going to start my own post looking for help, but if you do find any resources or advice that helps you please fill me in so I can stop hurting my family and others in this world.
Tales of a female sex addict. My compulsion began when I was 12 and took me to dark places. I wasn't just hooked on porn - I was hooked on shame. Sex addiction movies list. 1. The Chapman Report Error: please try again. Based on the best-selling novel by Irving Wallace that was inspired by the Kinsey Report on the sexual mores of suburban women, the film follows the personal (read sexual) lives of four See full summary Sex Addiction: What It's Like to Be a Woman Living With the Condition 'It can happen to anyone - even those who had a safe, loving childhood like I did' By Erica kokaneebeach.comted Reading Time: 5 mins
Re: I am a married, female sex addict and am terrified by escapade87 Sun Jan 03, am Hi Krista, I admire your honesty in your post, I'm at a bit of a lose as to what to say as I have just recently come to terms with my sex addiction. When you say you feel like you have so much power I understand completely what you mean. Sex can leave you feeling so empowered as if you are hitting a higher level of conciousness. If you add on top of this the sexual abuse I experienced, what can a child conclude other than, I am a horrible person.
The second core belief shared by all sexual addicts is, No one will meet my needs.
Female sex addictics
Is it any surprise that a child who experiences abandonment comes to this conclusion? The people that I should be able to trust and depend on are not there for me. The third core belief is this: Sex is my most important need. Again, the connection between sexual abuse and sexual addiction is profound.
When we are sexualized at an early age and experience all the confusion around that abuse, we inappropriately sexualize love, touch, nurture and affection. Everything really important in life becomes sexualized.
We come to believe that love or relationship is our most important need. Finally, sex addicts believe this: If you really knew me, you would leave me.
Female sex addiction tends to manifest somewhat differently than it does in men, with root causes of the addiction stemming from a need for power, control, or attention. This results in women being more likely to experience their sex addiction through fantasy sex, seductive role sex, trading sex, or Estimated Reading Time: 3 mins Women with sex addiction are almost rebelling against this concept, and rather than being a victim, they try to beat men "at their own game," O'Hara said. One woman with sex addiction would pride herself on sleeping with each man only once, having an "incredible sex experience," and leaving them right after, instead of them leaving her With high-profile sex addicts including Tiger Woods, Russell Brand and Katie Price's ex, Kieran Hayler, most people associate the condition with men - but there are an estimate female
There is this front that I present to the world, and maybe it looks really good on the outside, but it's not what is on my inside. If you knew me, you would leave. These core beliefs, often impacting us on an unconscious level, set us up for addictions of all kinds.
Healing from Sex Addiction There are a number of key ingredients that make recovery possible. I'll discuss just a few. Fellowship is the antidote to trauma and the key to long-term recovery.
Was specially female sex addictics congratulate, the remarkable
We cannot recover in isolation. God made us for fellowship. We were wounded in relationships, and we have to heal in relationships. Fellowship is also the antidote to lust.
Healthy fellowship is what will help us become free from lust.
Re: I am a married, female sex addict and am terrified by jaybaines30 Wed Dec 30, am hello krista I would be lying if I said to you that you can stop your sex addiction by just really putting up a fight like hell Women sex addicts, on the other hand, tend to use sex for power, control, and attention. They score high on measures of fantasy sex, seductive role sex, trading sex, and pain kokaneebeach.comted Reading Time: 5 mins In men, sex addiction is an extension of those teachings. Females Who Have an Addiction to Sex. In the past, society expected women to be homemakers. They needed to meet the needs of their husband and be submissive. However, sex addiction in a woman is the opposite behavior. Female sex addicts often like to dominate men and be in complete control
It's not enough to just have fellowship. We can have fellowship that does not involve accountability, and that's not going to solve the problem.
We need people who know our story and who will hold us accountable for the rituals as well as for the acting out. In my opinion, Twelve Step programs are the best place to find the right mix of fellowship and accountability. When I walk into a Twelve Step group and say, "Hi, my name is Marnie, and I'm a grateful, recovering sexaholic," I am home. I know these people understand. They have been there themselves.
And I know that we can provide for each other the fellowship and accountability we need. I won't preach the whole sermon, but I believe that Christ intended churches to operate a whole lot more like Twelve Step groups. They need to be places where it's okay to be real, okay to have problems. Places where you don't have to have all your problems fixed before you feel at home. The Twelve Steps lead us through a methodical process that focuses on our addictive behaviors and on the defects of character that underlie our addictive behaviors.
But the Twelve Steps, as wonderful and useful as they are, will not adequately address all the problems of abuse and abandonment that are at the root of sexual addiction. That's not their goal. The goal of Twelve Step programs is sobriety.
And sobriety gives us an opportunity to work on the other problems that have led to our addictions or that accompany our addictions. For example, sexual addicts, in addition to being addicted to sex, are also often depressed.
And that's a problem for which counseling and medications can be very helpful. In the Christian community we do not hesitate to treat most medical problems. It bothers me that in the Christian community we so often experience resistance to the treatments and medication that have been shown to be helpful for depression. We don't tell an insulin-dependent diabetic, "Just pray more and you'll feel better.
You don't need the insulin. Depression is a medical illness. It often requires medication in addition to counseling in order to be helpful. Counseling and medication can play an important part in the recovery process. Sometimes intensive workshops or inpatient programs can also be helpful. For some people an intensive treatment program is essential for recovery, and almost all sex addicts can be helped by having an intensive jump-start to the recovery process.
Recovery requires courage.
Accept. The female sex addictics where
It is a difficult journey-and one that is not undertaken lightly or easily. In the Twelve Step community we say that recovery is simple but it is not easy. It will cost a lot. For many of us giving up an addiction feels like death. It is our addiction that has helped us cope with the wounds of abuse and abandonment. When we have no other, healthier coping skills, becoming abstinent from our addictions can be an absolutely terrifying, incredibly painful process.
That's another reason why the fellowship and accountability is so important. Without support we will inevitably retreat into "safer" territory. The experience of grace is central to the recovery process.
I know clearly when I first felt grace. It was when I was in the middle of getting a divorce from my first husband.
I was a full-blown sex addict. My life was totally out of control.
And it was the first time in my life that I felt suicidal. Some people that I worked with-people that I didn't know well at all-saw my distress. It wasn't really because of the divorce. The real pain and despair I was experiencing came from the shame I experienced from the religious community of my father, the pastor. I was disowned. And shamed. I had sweet church people coming to my home at ten o'clock at night and at seven o'clock in the morning to tell me I was going to hell for divorcing my husband.
I was distraught about that as much as I was about anything else. These friends put me in their car and took me to a Christian counselor.
I assume that they had arranged this ahead of time, since he was available to see me. They walked me in and introduced me to this man, and then they left.
Michael Douglas. The Oscar-winning actor has been married to beauty Catherine Zeta-Jones for years, but he's been candid about his struggles with alcohol and sex addiction. Michael even went so far as to say that his throat cancer was caused by performing oral sex on so many women What It's Really Like to Be a Woman With a Sex Addiction. In her new book Getting Off, Erica Garza reveals a lifetime of secrets about the sex addiction she's still Author: Hannah Smothers Confessions of a sex addict: From juggling three men in a night to bringing sex toys to work, woman reveals lengths she'll go to 'get her fix'. Some people say being addicted to sex Estimated Reading Time: 10 mins
I was not comfortable in that office. I did not want to be there. He said something like, "What can I do for you? I let him have it. I said I didn't care anything about his blankety-blank whatever. But, I said, if you can stop me from killing myself I'll give you ten minutes.
You know what he said? No lectures on right and wrong. Right then I felt grace for the first time in my life. I let this man know just a little about who I really was. At that moment I was a really, really angry person. But he accepted me without judgment. I only met with him a few times; I wasn't ready yet to do the hard work I needed to do. So my life continued in the pattern of acting out for another twelve years after that.
But I think he saved my life that day. With a single word he showed me more of the grace of God than I had experienced before. That helped me to believe twelve years later that it just might be possible for a counselor to help me.
It helped me to return to that kind of resource when I was ready and able to do so. When we experience grace, instead of the preoccupation and fantasy that drives the addictive process, we develop a vision for a different kind of life. Part of recovery is recovering a graced vision for our lives. We need a vision of a life of sobriety, a life in recovery. We need to be able to envision a life truly connected to God in a deep spirituality.
And to envision ourselves and our families living a healthy life. Instead of the unhealthy rituals that lead to acting out, we need a vision of healthy rituals and disciplines in our lives. Prayer, meditation and Bible study are healthy disciplines. To be a part of a community of faith or a support group is a healthy discipline. These kinds of healthy disciplines can support healthy choices.
Instead of despair, we need a vision of joy. That's what recovery is about.
Marnie Ferree offers individual and couples counseling through the Woodmont Hills Counseling Center in Nashville, Tennessee www.
An audiotape set of the workshop from which this material was taken is available from Prodigals International www. If you found this material to be helpful, we invite you to SUPPORT THE NACR Everything we do is made possible by the generosity of people just like you! Menu Home Centers 12 Step Recovery Families Recovery at Church Spirituality Abuse Emotional Health Archive Close VIDEOS By the Book: Doing the 12 Steps - 14 videos Addiction - 4 videos The Addicted Family System - 16 videos Spirituality and Recovery - 8 videos Spiritual Practices - 5 videos Recovery from Childhood Trauma - 6 videos Recovery from Distorted Images of God - 12 videos Local Church Ministry - 10 videos For Pastors mostly - 10 videos Community and Confession - 13 videos Just a bit of comic relief - 4 videos Close Store Books Bible Studies Audio Video Close Referrals Search Recursos.
by Marnie Ferree While most people tend to assume that sexual addiction is a problem only for men, the evidence suggests the contrary. Sin or Disease? And sadly, many celebrities have lost their marriages to such such temptations and have participated in some super scandalous affairs.
While some celebs have sought treatment for their issues, others attribute their actions to simply "bad behavior. From surprising actors, like Rob Lowe, to maybe not-so-shocking celebrities, these men and women are learning to live with their disease every day in hopes of finding happiness and balance.
And while some of them have fully recovered, there are more than a few who admit they are always on guard for "triggers" that will send them spiraling. Here's a look at some stars who have admitted that one way or another, they just can't seem to get enough sex! One of the most unexpected revelations to come out of Jada Pinkett Smith's Red Table Talk Facebook series was that the hostess herself was addicted to sex when she was younger. Calling herself a "binger" when it comes to several areas of her life, she says she stopped cold turkey by forcing herself to confront the reasons that led to the behavior.
Sex often triggered drug use, he said, and now he's recovering from both. Though his Sunday Services are all about Jesus and all things pure, Kanye West has admitted to battling sex addiction that left him feeling like he was "drowning. From age 5 til now, having to kick the habit and it just presents itself in the open like it's OK and I stand up and say, 'No, it's not OK. My mum had passed a year before and I said some people drown themselves in drugs. And I drowned myself in my addiction The actor has been quite open about his love for women among other things.
In fact, this former bad boy once had a reputation that earned the Irishman the nickname "the Lusty Leprechaun.
He told Elle magazine that having sex sober post-rehab was "terrifying. Russel Brand has claimed that sex was "recreational" for him. His habit even landed him the title "Shagger of the Year" in his native UK. Russell claims he had a harem of 10 women at one point in his life.
Theme, female sex addictics remarkable, very
The way he saw it, that was how he "relaxed. The girl has come forward.
She's put her name to the story. She's giving all the details about her two-day affair with your husband in Toronto, and it's going to come out next week - Christmas. By January, Dean entered rehab to manage with"health and personal issues," which turned out to be a sex addiction.
Meet the highly respectable women who claim they're SEX ADDICTS and it's almost ruined their lives. Kate Wilkinson, 39, from West Sussex and her partner are recovering sex addictsEstimated Reading Time: 8 mins Random sex with increasingly higher risk people and in dangerous places was the norm and many of these people, men and women, had turned to hiring drug-addicted Estimated Reading Time: 9 mins Tales of a female sex addict. My compulsion began when I was 12 and took me to dark places. I wasn't just hooked on porn - I was hooked on shame. Estimated Reading Time: 3 mins
The actor came clean about his struggles with drug and sex addiction in his memoir, Love Life. He, too, had a sex tape scandal, except his involved a teenager - which made its release even more controversial. According to him, the scandal was the best thing that could have happened to him.
After the tape surfaced, Rob entered treatment to help him battle his demons. He credits wife, Sheryl Berfkoff, for helping him battle his addictions.
Former Playmate Nicole Narain once confessed that her sex and self-pleasuring addiction was so bad, she once couldn't leave her bed all day.
She recalled her lowest points on the once Joy Behar Show :. It was exhausting and it was scary because it consumed my entire day and I try very hard not to have any triggers around me where I would feel like I need to masturbate today. The gorgeous Halle Berry is no doubt glad to have cut ties with ex-husband Eric Benet.